Isabella: February 2010

My lovely daughter, my snow angel, my cute as a button

... and her evil twin

Finally a different Conversation about Death:

I-mom, I'm not going to die.
m-Why not? (resisting the urge to say: everybody's doing it)
I- I don't want to.

Quotes of the Week:

M-O-M! He's touching my markers. Can you attack him?

No Luke! These are my stickers. See, they say (growling) "Not for babies".

Misengarde

Do you like Polly Pockets? I love Polly Pockets. Below is a picture of the Polly Pocket Shoe I took out of Isabella's nose on Jan 19. I used that very tooth pick. It probably wasn't the wisest choice, but there you have it - I like to endanger my kid's life. To my credit I did warn her: If you move you could die. Isabella held very still.
Later that day Isabella had her year 4 checkup. She got 4 immunizations. She cried like a baby. I might have said if she didn't get the needles she could die. I might have used adjectives like agonizing and horrible. I know, I know, I'm an insensitive parent. Before you condemn me to bad mom jail, remember there are other punishments.

Everyday since Jan 19, 2010 Isabella and I have had the same conversation.

I- are I going to die today?
m-am I... no not today.
I- are I going to have needles when I die?
m-am I... you wouldn't feel them anyway.
I- are I going to have needles like Jesus?
m- am I. Those were nails. Remember how we talked about this yesterday... [Then Isabella will pull out a picture of Jesus dying on the cross and we'll have the whole gospel lesson. Easter is going to be great this year.]

Incidentally we're reading the war chapters in Alma. It's like a thesaurus for death. I think I'm paying for my crimes.

{Find a picture of Grandpa Hamilton and put it here}

Speaking of...my grandfather (who I disrespectfully remember as the dirty old man) died last month. He wasn't such a bad fellow, and now I'm sorry I never said anything nice about him or his farm. I'm sorry Grandpa. I am truly heartless. But I do feel empathy for my dad who loved him. I know he'll miss his father.

Dear Ms. SpareTheRod

Sometimes my kids bug me. Here are two things they do that drive me crazy. Luke, my 18month old son, likes apples. He likes to bite off chunks and then spit fire them all over my home. He never swallows. It's gross. It's unsanitary. It's a waste. Isabella, my 4year old daughter, likes to wipe her face clean with the sleeve of her shirt. All her clothes have chocolate or blackberry jam stains from elbow to wrist. I'm pretty sure they need to stop these undesirable behaviours if they want to develop into high functioning, competent, productive members of society. What should I do?

please say it's okay to spank them,
It's not my Fault



Dear Your Fault,
It seems that you've got a real problem. And you're it. If your son never actually eats the apples you offer why do you leave him unsupervised with them? hmmm? It doesn't matter how cute he sounds singing his apple song, don't give him any apples. Never leave him alone with one- not only will he apple sauce your home, he could choke and die. About your daughter, this issue is a little more difficult. I suspect she wipes up with her sleeve because you do too. You had better mend your ways missy, then your daughter will follow suit. In the interim, try using Spray and Wash and learning to pre-soak. Perhaps you should avoid feeding your children Oreos and Cheetos and cherry lollipops all day. My final word of advice- violence never solves anything. Don't spank your kids.
regards,
Ms. SpareTheRod

Heretic

On Friday January 9, 2009 around 10pm while snuggling with his wife, Willy uttered with the fatal words:
"You know I don't really like Jane Austen."





Can you hear the silence that followed? His wife and the world are aghast. Despite having only read Pride and Prejudice. Despite liking the movies. He will not change his mind.

Two Towels

A long time ago my friend L. Miller made the greatest baby towel for Isabella.She showed me how and I made more towels. Isabella has a fish towel, and Luke has a towel with teddy bear ears. That was my masterpiece until....
I made this pirate towel
...and this Rocky Towel. Both are gifts for friends. Still I want to keep them because they're so cool. Which is why I took some pictures with Isabella to model. And now I'm announcing to the world, if you're having a baby and say "geee I could really use a baby towel." I'll make you one. If you want one. I've got lots more ideas. Of course I'm a terrible procrastinator, so you'll have to hold your breath for a month or three.

Party Vs Gifts

If it was your fourth birthday and you had to choose between a party with all your friends and a bigger present what would you choose?
Isabella went for the bigger present.

I fully expected her to go for the party. After all toys break. Memories keep. And she was pretty clear about the Dinosaur cake. Dinosaur hats. Dinosaur balloons. Besides how much is a "bigger present" worth? Answer: $21.99 plus tax and not including Grandma's generous contribution. I was definitely grieving over the lost party and feeling uncertain about teaching Isabella to be greedy. So course that's why we were waiting in the Toys R Us parking lot at 9:52am on a Wednesday morning to shop for the perfect "bigger present". Ha! January 6th was a HUGE blow for consumerism. (gentle readers please note: Willy says it's not obvious that I'm being ironical...so I'll just make it plain. I'm being ironical)

Anyhow, even though we weren't exercising our humanitarian muscles it was a fantastic day just the four of us being together. Isabella said it was her best birthday ever. I said we should have cake and balloons for breakfast next year. Willy said he's gonna try and be home for birthdays. And Luke said You can come back on my birthday.




I don't know why I make tacos so often. The kids only eat the cheese

...and the dessert




This year I made Whoopie Pies shaped like dinosaurs for Isabella's birthday cake. The blueberries are her special treat because she's my blueberry girl with blueberry eyes.
Happy Birthday. You are my Joy.

New Year's Clean Up

This past year (2009) I meant to make a dragon pinata with Isabella. We read A Winter's Revel before Christmas and I thought it might be fun to have our own new years revel. Except... we didn't. I also neglected to take a picture of Halloween costumes so we got re-dressed up for the New Year instead. Here's Isabella as a dinosaur and Luke as "mummy's boy". Most people thought Isabella was a crocodile or a dragon, she was very firm with those who erred. And she has reminded me several times to add the spikes. PINK Spikes. Believe it or not, Luke is actually loving this. Odd.
Two Important things Happen tomorrow on Jan 6....

Isabella turns 4. Here's the only unfocused picture I took at her party last year. She was in love with George way back then. Now she wants a dinosaur cake and dinosaur hats. ummm I've got to explain to her about my dead money tree out back. She might be out of luck. We'll see tomorrow.

Willy starts school again. He wont be getting much of this. And we wont be getting much of him. Oh what a hard luck tale. But it is the home-run stretch, and he is the best man I know.

Good Luck this semester Willy.

Finally, in case you can't get enough of Isabella and Luke acting crazy, I know I never ever do, here they are again.