The Count Down Has Started

Willy is holed up in our room working on his BAR application. He's been racing furiously for the last few weeks, and the finish line is in site. Yippee! We're almost done with school (for awhile anyway, it'll be my turn next).

Meanwhile the situation on the home front could kill me. Isabella hasn't stopped talking for the last two weeks. I doubt she breathes anymore. What happened to the good old days when only my physical presence was required? I feel like Harrison Bergeron- without the exceptional good looks, intelligence or athleticism. And Luke! He wont stop throwing shoes at me. "Let's go out now!" he commands with that baby lisp only I understand. He unfortunately doesn't understand reason. "I just chased you around the park for three hours. Hey stay out of the fridge!" I holler right back at him. What I really want to do is ride away on my trusty Schwinn and spend a day in Barnes & Noble (with the coffee smell, and the swank music, and the new books). I want to let someone else worry about the feeding, bathing, cuddling, tucking-in-ing of children. Until then I keep clicking my heels: August Come Soon, August Come Soon.

I know, I know. Just call up some generous soul and beg them to take my kids. But then I'd be at loose end for 2 hours. Plus I don't drive, so it'd be a hassle travelwise, and then I'd feel obligated to respond in kind (or pay money, since I don't have any skills worth bartering). Gosh, I'm like some martyr relishing every obstacles on her rosary. What I really need is my partner back. And a bike.

Explain to me again, why you did that?

I dropped my chap stick on the floor. Or it fell out of the medicine cabinet one morning. My good chap stick, it was The Burtz Bee’s wax I like so much. I thought ‘you should pick it up before someone finds it. Put it away. Keep it safe.' Hours later it hadn’t changed positions on the floor in the bathroom and I stopped long enough to wonder how it got there. Really, who leaves chap stick, the good stuff, on the floor near the toilet? Yuck! By the evening it was still there. I was filling the tub for bath time and my parting thought was, 'maybe they won’t touch it.'

Luke finished his bath first. He’s always done first, whether he’s washed or not. “I done” he declares and hops himself over the rim. After his bath he likes a good run before his powdering, diapering, and clothing. I usually oblige him.

When I checked on Bug, minutes later, the bathroom had a clinical minty flavour. With the precision of a bomb technician she had disassembled my Burt’s Beezwax. There it lay all in pieces at the bottom of the tub. Now, days later, there are still insidious wax smears mucking up my tub! I can’t get it clean. Not without using Magic Bubbles, which I’m sure is killing the earth one application at a time. Is it really possible to save the world by picking chap stick off the floor the first time we think of it?

Behold The Genius that is my Daughter

Yesterday, or the day before, I ran out of Bamboo Skewers

I hate the vents at our place. Who knows how Luke does it, but he finds things that will fit through the slots of our vent. Isabella might have given him the idea. StarWars magnets, Othello Game pieces, Firetruck ladders, Crayola Twistables, scrap paper, twisty ties...poof they're gone. He thinks it's the greatest fun ever. He could do it for hours.

Where is mom while he is blissfully occupied? Watching. In a sort of stupor. I see he has my wallet. I see he's unzipped it. I see him rifling through my cards. I see him heading toward the vent. But it's like I'm swimming through syrup and I can't stop him from magicking away my credit card, my library card, my Barnes and Noble gift card (btw Thanks JCTJCK), my Safeway card. Then my synapse start firing again. I yell, No!, quick and sharp. Luke startles, and there goes our Blue Cross card.

The tools for a job like this are bamboo skewers. Depending on the size and weight of the lost item you need three of five of them. Oh and don't forget the long thin tweezers. It could take a few hours. Only I'm out of skewers. How is this possible!!! Since Luke is still a baby and really too adorable to do anything with but love... I'm really mad at the vent.

Evidence that Luke is too Adorable: