Snap Shot

I’m at the stove making enough muddy-buddies to fill one thousand treat bags for Christmas delivery this season. Julia is bouncing like a happy elf in her seat. Luke is shouting my name from the downstairs bathroom. He’s starting to sound mad. I’ve been ignoring him, because I know what he wants. Isabella has set the microwave timer for 60minutes. She’s counting by ones out-loud. She missed 145, I know because I’ve been counting silently with her. I missed 144 but she didn’t. When she reaches 500 she says, “Wow! Luke’s been going bathroom for 500 seconds!” That’s when I notice she’s pacing like a maniac. I look at the timer it reads 37:53. She’s been waiting to use the bathroom for over twenty minutes? That’s what this insanity is about? I imagined she was conducting a philosophical experiment, or making the best of her youth. When she gets to 607 I remind her there are two bathrooms in our home. Luke returns at 22:45. He assures me he’s washed his hands with soap.